Little people are just like baby animals....

Relaxxxxxxxxxxx - I am not saying anything bad here.  

I have a horse.  I have ridden all my life and I have a horse, his name is Tee - he is a baby in the horse world, only 5 years old and just like my son, learning every day.  We compete in dressage - an olympic sport - not that we are at that level.  

My point is, my son tries to communicate with me.  I try to communicate with him.  My horse, has to learn how to communicate with me, or we would never be able to do what we do.  The way we teach my horse is thru great patience and understanding.  The smallest improvement or when he gets a move correct that we are teaching him, is met with great praise.  He is never punished when he is getting something wrong, his needs are met with before he realizes what he needs, if he is naughty for some reason, the reprimand is kind but firm.  He therefore is a sweet natured horse who tries very hard and who brings me immeasurable pleasure.

I try to think of my little boy the same way.  He is unable to communicate with me.   He tries very hard.  I try to keep ahead of his needs, whether it is a nap, a bottle, attention, a cuddle, playtime.....   My reward is that he never cries.  

I am not in favor of letting a baby cry.  To me, it is that they are so desperate in their communication attempts that they finally just resort to crying - as that finally maybe, gets their mothers attention.  Many women will disagree with me on this.  Many will agree.  I have spoken to my pediatrician and she tells me that crying is learned behavior. 

I don't put him down to sleep and let him cry himself out, I don't leave him if he is crying.  To me he sounds distressed.  I ask myself at those times, if I was at the barn and my horse was in distress, would I just walk away and leave him??? Not on your life.  He is distressed.  He needs me.  Nothing is more important at that time.

Now I am not saying my son is perfect, sometimes nap time is something he absolutely has no intention of indulging in.....but I refuse to make it an issue....Yes, I pick him up - huh shock horror - I pick him up out of the crib and pop him on the bed and fold laundry - I try and find a mundane chore that is not interesting for him, so that he relaxes and realizes he is not missing out on anything....then maybe about 30 mins later, when he is rubbing eyes etc, I try the nap again.  Invariably, the 2nd attempt works.  

I just don't feel that a baby should be distressed.  Whether they are the human kind, or the animal kind.   We are the adults.  We know better.  We need to let babies be babies a little bit.  Nothing is written in stone.  Sometimes we just have to go with the flow a little and find the path of least resistance and then maybe find some peace for everyone.....