Tailgaters.....

Why do people insist on tailgating????  Do they really think that if they sit so close to my butt that I can see the color of their eyes that I am going to drive faster?  What are they going to do - play bumper cars and push me along???  

I think of myself as a pretty considerate driver - I spend a lot of time in my car, and I always have my son with me, so I am pretty careful and aware of who is behind me and how close they are etc....for obvious reasons........

If I want to pass I pass and then get back in the right hand lane and let the faster traffic go.....but there is always some wiseguy that has to be on my butt.  I am so sick of it.   I mean I am in the right hand lane and clearly I am not going fast enough!!! 

 I do not sit on the speed limit - I usually drive over it or keep with the flow of traffic - but I don't drive like a lunatic.    I can be driving up to the toll gates and some guy will be right on my butt - I mean, what would he/she like me to do????   How fast is fast enough?  Some people just seem to like to ride on every single cars tail.....you know them, you have seen them....in and out of the traffic.... I get so annoyed by it.   You know the feeling, when you are driving long a road that is just a normal suburban road and someone is right on your tail.....I honestly want to stop and get out and ask them what they are doing!!!!

The other day I was driving home.  We were on a two lane road and there was traffic in both lanes.    I was in the right hand lane and a black Hummer was so close to my tail that I was nervous.  I could not see his headlights.  If I had to stop suddenly he would drive right into me - right into my son in the back seat.  He had nowhere to go.  I had nowhere to go - there was traffic - hello!!!  So anyway he swerves out of my lane from behind me and cuts into the lane beside me, then cuts me off and then goes back again.....you know the scene.....then he finally drives off like a madman.   Anyway I came up to the toll gates, and there he is in the CASH lane in a huge line of traffic waiting to pay the toll.....I have EZ Pass - and I slowed down to pass right by him, and the urge to stop, honk my horn and wave at him was UNBEARABLE!!!!!!  Oh how I wanted to wind down my window and say "HAHAHAHA SEE YA!!!!" and drive off.....but I was a good girl and just laughed all the way home!!!!

Cheers.

Magazine ads these days.....are you kidding me???

OK so I am sitting here reading the current InStyle Mag.....and you have to be kidding me...What is going on with ads these days for clothes etc???  I mean did you see the ad for the H&M dress?  I am not sure what they are trying to do here - and forgive me, but I cannot imagine a woman designed this ad.....I mean the girl is dripping wet, the dress is hiked up around her butt, and she is coming out of the ocean......PULEASE.  What woman out there is going to do this?  This is a mans fantasy and it is just stupid.  It is not going to make me race out and buy the dress!!!!  Is it you???  

Then there is the Blue Water ad.  For goodness sake......I mean a chic lying back in a (yet again) wet shirt with a come hither look on her face.......now is this going to make me buy this scent????  Once again I cannot imagine a woman designing this ad.  Come on girls!!!  Where are our women advertising execs???  We need to kick these guys in the butt. 

I am sick of these ads.    Now the ad for Tresor is wonderful - Kate Winslet looks wonderful and it is classy and sexy - now that is a perfume I would buy.....not because of Kate Winslet but because of the way it is portrayed.  

Then you turn the page and are met with the Guess Ad.  Aye Aye Aye.  Do you want your daughter dressing like that?

I am not an old woman nor am I a prude.....but I think we are crossing the lines of decency everywhere.  When I was growing up - you NEVER saw ads like this.  Girls were empowered thru sport, education and self respect.  Guys never saw a women portrayed this way - it is not a good thing to teach our youngsters.

I just think that there has to be a line somewhere - and how do we draw it???

Little people are just like baby animals....

Relaxxxxxxxxxxx - I am not saying anything bad here.  

I have a horse.  I have ridden all my life and I have a horse, his name is Tee - he is a baby in the horse world, only 5 years old and just like my son, learning every day.  We compete in dressage - an olympic sport - not that we are at that level.  

My point is, my son tries to communicate with me.  I try to communicate with him.  My horse, has to learn how to communicate with me, or we would never be able to do what we do.  The way we teach my horse is thru great patience and understanding.  The smallest improvement or when he gets a move correct that we are teaching him, is met with great praise.  He is never punished when he is getting something wrong, his needs are met with before he realizes what he needs, if he is naughty for some reason, the reprimand is kind but firm.  He therefore is a sweet natured horse who tries very hard and who brings me immeasurable pleasure.

I try to think of my little boy the same way.  He is unable to communicate with me.   He tries very hard.  I try to keep ahead of his needs, whether it is a nap, a bottle, attention, a cuddle, playtime.....   My reward is that he never cries.  

I am not in favor of letting a baby cry.  To me, it is that they are so desperate in their communication attempts that they finally just resort to crying - as that finally maybe, gets their mothers attention.  Many women will disagree with me on this.  Many will agree.  I have spoken to my pediatrician and she tells me that crying is learned behavior. 

I don't put him down to sleep and let him cry himself out, I don't leave him if he is crying.  To me he sounds distressed.  I ask myself at those times, if I was at the barn and my horse was in distress, would I just walk away and leave him??? Not on your life.  He is distressed.  He needs me.  Nothing is more important at that time.

Now I am not saying my son is perfect, sometimes nap time is something he absolutely has no intention of indulging in.....but I refuse to make it an issue....Yes, I pick him up - huh shock horror - I pick him up out of the crib and pop him on the bed and fold laundry - I try and find a mundane chore that is not interesting for him, so that he relaxes and realizes he is not missing out on anything....then maybe about 30 mins later, when he is rubbing eyes etc, I try the nap again.  Invariably, the 2nd attempt works.  

I just don't feel that a baby should be distressed.  Whether they are the human kind, or the animal kind.   We are the adults.  We know better.  We need to let babies be babies a little bit.  Nothing is written in stone.  Sometimes we just have to go with the flow a little and find the path of least resistance and then maybe find some peace for everyone.....

The things they don't tell you.........

OK, so how many of you new mums/moms are waking up out there half way thru the night feeling like you have just taken a swim??????  

The first time this happened to me I thought I was dying.  Noone, I mean noone, mentioned this to me.  I mean people would be happy to tell me all the other disgusting horrible stuff you SOOOOO do not want to hear, I mean, toooooo much information, but do they mention or warn you that due to your hormones having a party, you will wake up drenched?  NOoooo.....  The first time this happened I thought I was getting sick.....then it happened again the next night....and again and again, so that is when I started doing the walk with the fingers on my keyboard....desperate to find an answer only to see that there were dozens of women out there asking the exact same question.

I went to this meeting at the hospital when I was pregnant - we had wanted to have a natural birth at the birthing center and to do this you had to go thru this day program with them....where they told me so much fun that I left there terrified, horrified and dreading the entire experience.....with all the yukky stuff they told me, they never mentioned anything about hormonal sweats....I wish someone had let me know, then I would not have been so worried about something that is perfectly normal and nothing to worry about.

So if you are waking up feeling like you just took a swim, you are FINE.  It is just another thing your poor body is doing to get back to normal.  Seriously, our bodies rock.  No, I mean it.  You need to look at your body and think, you rock!!!

You know what they also never told me???  How terrified I would be - not of raising him, not of being with him, but of how much you love this little parcel that is there looking at you, how it fills your heart and breaks it into a million pieces and how you just want to cry.....

If I can give you any advice, it is to lay back, ignore EVERYTHING except your new little bundle of love, and just relax and enjoy him or her.  Everything can wait.  Do not worry yourself with anything.  Just enjoy yourself.  I think us mums forget to do that.  Let the phone ring, or the washing wait, or whatever it is, it can wait.  Just take that time to enjoy yourself.  We forget to do that sometimes - and you know what?  We are allowed.

Cheers.

New mums or moms

When I was pregnant with my son, everyone I spoke to had to tell me their horror story.  Why is that???  I was so determined not to listen to them and blocked all the negative nonsense out....

New mums or moms, you have nothing to worry about - I am not going to tell you that it is a walk in the park, however, it is not as bad as everyone tells you.......albeit, I did not have an easy labor and had a c-section (this was a surprise) but everything worked out fine and I have a healthy happy boy and I am healthy and happy.  I am not going to go into the whole story because I don't want to talk about that now.  I just want to pass on a happy note to you to let you know that all will be OK.  The c-section is not as bad as everyone says.  I have a tiny scar well below my bikini line - I have no "pouch" that women talk about.  The pain is tolerable - I mean they give you awesome drugs!!! 

I cannot comment on vaginal births.....but all I know is those women got to go home faster than I did and I was jealous of that.....I had to hang around the hospital and I was bored and wanted to go home to my own bed and my own shower etc.  

Let me say that the first shower you take when you get home is FANTASTIC.   Let that hot water cascade down your back and relish in it....nothing feels better.....honestly.  

Another hint for you - WALK.  Yes, even tho it is uncomfortable and painful, go for a walk every day.  I did.  I did the "shuffle" out in the park.....pushing bub and myself every day.  It is the best advice I ever received.  Gets you out of the house and into the fresh air.  Gets the blood moving. Makes you feel like you are normal again.   Just start with 15 mins..  Gradually build it up.  But you must go for a walk every day.  Trust me.  It works.

Breast feed if you can.....I could not actually do the boob thing, it hurt me too much.....but I did pump - yes pump it up ladies!!!!!  The pump is a little uncomfortable when you first start, but once you get the hang of it - it is awesome.  Helps you loose weight and gives the baby the breast milk....best of both worlds!!!!  Without the sore nipples!!!!!!   yayayayaaaaaa!!!!!

But you will be fine!!!!!!  All will be AOK.  If I could have found more positive blogs about experiences I would never have gone in so worried.....

My new website

I am a new mum who is tired of surfing the web looking for sites that have answers to my questions - and it may take an hour or two to find anything I need.......so I have created my own website called "mumreport.com" and on it are all my favorite and my friend's favorite resource websites and we thought we would share them with you......please feel free to email us on susan@mumreport.com or respond to my blog....if you do not want credit for your idea, let us know and we will not publish your name, however, otherwise, we will say thank you for your insights and help.

This blog is for the purpose of idea exchange.....helpful hints....etc.  Feel free to post your ideas.  Keep it clean and friendly please.....

Look forward to hearing from you all.....