Tuesday, July 31, 2012

The passing of an old friend......

I am grappling with the fact that an old friend of mine committed suicide.  We all hung out in a group in our mid 20's, all friends, all having fun....we all kept contact through the years through each other, and she was very close to another one of our group, so we all kept up with each other....but obviously not enough.

Life had never been easy for her, but she was a beautiful, vibrant and outgoing woman.  She was 42 years old when she decided that life was just too hard.  Life was just too hard.  She was 42.

She organized everything methodically before she passed.  Nothing left to chance, even found a new home for her dog.  She spoke to one of our group, never mentioned a thing.

Now she is gone.  It makes my head spin.  Even though we were not in contact at the time of her death, which I now sincerely regret, I cannot help but think of her and her big laugh back in the day.

Why does she now haunt me?  I feel so bad for her that she was in such a place that she felt that this was the only answer for her.  I am so shocked that it had come to this.

It has also made me realize that life is so short and you just have to go for it.  Who cares if you fail? Whatever you dream, go for it, take life by the balls and say "yeah honey, lets go", because you may not have tomorrow.......I am going to live for the dream, enjoy my life, every minute and go for it because my friend is not here to do it, lost her dreams and herself too.....somewhere along the way.

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