A sad loss and a happy win......

Well the weekend was bitter sweet.  On Friday, I woke up to find that a Coyote had broken into my ducks pen and killed my ducks.  Well it killed two, and the third I found hiding, and beaten up so badly that I had to take her to the vet and have her put to sleep.  I was so upset.  Still am.  They were my pets, silly as it sounds, but I raised them from being a month old, and I tended to them every day, twice a day, and they were very tame and liked our company.  They sat outside our back door all the time, and hung out with us while we were outside.  It is just the way that they were attacked that gets me the most.  It makes me feel like I let them down and did not protect them for a predator that I did not know we even had.  Apparently, Coyotes are prevalent in South Jersey, are very cunning and brutal killers who kill to kill.  They will break into any kind of pet pen and kill the pets for the sake of it, including puppies, kittens, ducks, chickens, foals, calfs, etc.  Awful bloody thoughts.  

So hence to say that Friday was a horrid day that I had to just get on with, my hubby was really upset too, knew I was mortified, so he came home early to take care of my son so that I could get my shit together and get to the barn so that we could truck the horses to the horse park for the show.  So that is what I did.  My friend, who I trucked with was lovely and supportive, being a huge animal lover herself, completely understood how I was feeling.

Saturday rolls around and Tee is on fire.  No joke.  Crazy.  I took him for a walk and he was so over excited with all the absolute chaos of the event.  Horses, people, noise, everywhere.  He was rearing and tearing around in circles on his lead rein.  Snorting and carrying on....I thought to myself, "Interesting, I have to ride him in an hour".......

So, when I got on him, I took him into the "warm up" arena, with about 30 other horses, no bloody joke.  Tee nearly had a melt down.  Well, he did.  He just did not know what to do with himself.  He went into a bucking fit that I thought, at one stage, was going to get me off.  I thought I might actually come off him.  But I didn't and we just walked around and finally he started to relax after about 45 very tense minutes.

So, when I got him into that dressage arena, for my competition, I knew I either had to ride this horse, hard, or just quit and go home.  And I am no quitter, as you all know........so I pulled him together and rode my horse.  And he pulled it together and just said "OK mummy, here we go"....and he knocked it out of the park.  

I could not believe, when they posted the results, that we won.  In fact, I could not find my name, and said to my friends, one of whom came second, that I could not see my name......I was not looking at the top of the list!!!!  So funny!!!  To say I was stunned into silence is an understatement.  I did not know what to say.  I was so shocked.  And so happy.  

This was the biggest show we have ever shown at.  Huge.  Major Judges.  Very important event in our world.  So I am thrilled with my guy and it was a wonderful lift emotionally to the awful way the weekend had started....

I came home and my hubby and son had made a huge banner and hung it in the garage for me to see as I drove up....so lovely.  

I have a huge week, with lessons and training etc.  But it is all starting to pay off.  Slowly but surely.  

Our ducks....RIP.  We miss you guys every day....Sorry we let a nasty get to you.  I hope you are out there swimming around in heaven having a great time in a beautiful pond.

A day at the office.....

You know my son is now nearly 3, and he has started Pre-K.  It was the hardest thing I have ever done, teaching him that I will be back, and we slowly transitioned him into it and it is only half days and it is only 3 days per week, but my goodness how it broke my heart that he cried so hard.

I knew that once he got used to things he would be fine, which he now is as he bounds out at noon ready to take on the world, full of excitement about his morning and full of stories, but oh, the journey to get him there absolutely broke my heart for several days.

I mean BROKE it. I was sobbing.  Sitting in my car sobbing.  Wondering how this is good for him????

Now that we have worked our way through that, and I see how he loves making friends, how he is part of what is going on, how he is becoming more social and outgoing, I know that I did do the right thing and I just had to work through the tough times.

I keep telling my husband I work, every day.  It may not mean go to an office and it may not involve working for a "boss", but I do work.  At the house, at our home, at my dressage business, at giving riding lessons and of course, and not least, at being a mother, the best possible mother I can be.

And it is not always easy, some days are just brutal as your heart breaks and tears stream down your face......but then, a new day dawns, and all your hard work pays off as you wave goodbye to your little one, and with a smile on their face, they wave goodbye to join their friends.......

Now I do consider that a job well done and a good day at my office.