Little people are just like baby animals....

Relaxxxxxxxxxxx - I am not saying anything bad here.  

I have a horse.  I have ridden all my life and I have a horse, his name is Tee - he is a baby in the horse world, only 5 years old and just like my son, learning every day.  We compete in dressage - an olympic sport - not that we are at that level.  

My point is, my son tries to communicate with me.  I try to communicate with him.  My horse, has to learn how to communicate with me, or we would never be able to do what we do.  The way we teach my horse is thru great patience and understanding.  The smallest improvement or when he gets a move correct that we are teaching him, is met with great praise.  He is never punished when he is getting something wrong, his needs are met with before he realizes what he needs, if he is naughty for some reason, the reprimand is kind but firm.  He therefore is a sweet natured horse who tries very hard and who brings me immeasurable pleasure.

I try to think of my little boy the same way.  He is unable to communicate with me.   He tries very hard.  I try to keep ahead of his needs, whether it is a nap, a bottle, attention, a cuddle, playtime.....   My reward is that he never cries.  

I am not in favor of letting a baby cry.  To me, it is that they are so desperate in their communication attempts that they finally just resort to crying - as that finally maybe, gets their mothers attention.  Many women will disagree with me on this.  Many will agree.  I have spoken to my pediatrician and she tells me that crying is learned behavior. 

I don't put him down to sleep and let him cry himself out, I don't leave him if he is crying.  To me he sounds distressed.  I ask myself at those times, if I was at the barn and my horse was in distress, would I just walk away and leave him??? Not on your life.  He is distressed.  He needs me.  Nothing is more important at that time.

Now I am not saying my son is perfect, sometimes nap time is something he absolutely has no intention of indulging in.....but I refuse to make it an issue....Yes, I pick him up - huh shock horror - I pick him up out of the crib and pop him on the bed and fold laundry - I try and find a mundane chore that is not interesting for him, so that he relaxes and realizes he is not missing out on anything....then maybe about 30 mins later, when he is rubbing eyes etc, I try the nap again.  Invariably, the 2nd attempt works.  

I just don't feel that a baby should be distressed.  Whether they are the human kind, or the animal kind.   We are the adults.  We know better.  We need to let babies be babies a little bit.  Nothing is written in stone.  Sometimes we just have to go with the flow a little and find the path of least resistance and then maybe find some peace for everyone.....

New mums or moms

When I was pregnant with my son, everyone I spoke to had to tell me their horror story.  Why is that???  I was so determined not to listen to them and blocked all the negative nonsense out....

New mums or moms, you have nothing to worry about - I am not going to tell you that it is a walk in the park, however, it is not as bad as everyone tells you.......albeit, I did not have an easy labor and had a c-section (this was a surprise) but everything worked out fine and I have a healthy happy boy and I am healthy and happy.  I am not going to go into the whole story because I don't want to talk about that now.  I just want to pass on a happy note to you to let you know that all will be OK.  The c-section is not as bad as everyone says.  I have a tiny scar well below my bikini line - I have no "pouch" that women talk about.  The pain is tolerable - I mean they give you awesome drugs!!! 

I cannot comment on vaginal births.....but all I know is those women got to go home faster than I did and I was jealous of that.....I had to hang around the hospital and I was bored and wanted to go home to my own bed and my own shower etc.  

Let me say that the first shower you take when you get home is FANTASTIC.   Let that hot water cascade down your back and relish in it....nothing feels better.....honestly.  

Another hint for you - WALK.  Yes, even tho it is uncomfortable and painful, go for a walk every day.  I did.  I did the "shuffle" out in the park.....pushing bub and myself every day.  It is the best advice I ever received.  Gets you out of the house and into the fresh air.  Gets the blood moving. Makes you feel like you are normal again.   Just start with 15 mins..  Gradually build it up.  But you must go for a walk every day.  Trust me.  It works.

Breast feed if you can.....I could not actually do the boob thing, it hurt me too much.....but I did pump - yes pump it up ladies!!!!!  The pump is a little uncomfortable when you first start, but once you get the hang of it - it is awesome.  Helps you loose weight and gives the baby the breast milk....best of both worlds!!!!  Without the sore nipples!!!!!!   yayayayaaaaaa!!!!!

But you will be fine!!!!!!  All will be AOK.  If I could have found more positive blogs about experiences I would never have gone in so worried.....